IT’S PROBABLY AN AGE THING, but at the end of a day like today, a back-to-back-sort-of-a-day, a full of busyness sort of a day, I sometimes feel more of unease than I do of satisfaction. Every tired fibre in me calls me back to silence and reflection. I can barely be of much use to myself or to others if I don’t remember who and what undergirds the vocational call. Sister Wendy Beckett has written –
I wanted to belong totally to God and it seemed that being a nun was the way. This was narrow thinking. Anyone can belong totally to God, in any way of life and at any age. All he asks is our desire.
And in Ron Hanson’s Mariette in Ecstasy we meet a young woman who joined a convent because she was in love with Jesus – but was eventually asked to leave. Many years later she wrote to an old classmate from those convent days …
Christ stills sends me roses. We try to be formed and held and kept by him, but instead he offers us freedom. And now when I try to know his will, his kindness floods me, his great love overwhelms me, and I hear him whisper, “Surprise me”.
Yes, whatever the circumstances of our “way of life” we have to desire to belong to God. And we’re called to respond to his invitation to freedom. So there’s always a need to place our institutional and personal busyness in the proper context of his invitation to “surprise me”, a need to make the time to notice that “his kindness floods me”. May my heart, soul, mind and body be a little more finely attuned to that whisper and to that kindness tomorrow.